To the Department of Justice and Constitutional Development:
Selling sex has been illegal in South Africa since at least the early s and buying sex was criminalised in The criminalisation of sex work has not deterred people from selling sex to make a living. Criminalisation has, however, made sex work less safe. Most sex 445 in South Africa are poor, black, and female, and sell sex primarily in order to support their children, as well as other dependents.
This report attempts to represent some of the fear, emotional pain, and frustration that South African sex workers experience because the work they do to try to ensure a better life for their children is criminalised. The report calls for law reforms including the decriminalisation of sex work in South Africa and encourages the Department of Justice and Constitutional Xex to take up this task now with seriousness and urgency after years of debate on the issue.
Sed Mlilo a pseudonym is a year-old sex worker and a single mother of two children. Almost none of the 46 women interviewed xex this report matriculated from school; Rofhiwa Mlilo did not go at all. She sees sex work as one of the very few options available to earn an income to keep a roof over the heads of her children, for her, preferable to backbreaking farm work that brings in less money.
Rofhiwa Mlilo described the sometimes dangerous contradictions inherent in selling sex in South Africa: her relationship with the police is characterized by arbitrary arrests, lack of due process, and abusive policing practices.
Interviews were conducted with female sex workers, including three transgender women, in 335 sites in three provinces. Around 40 government and nongovernmental experts in health, law, and provision of services for sex workers and were also interviewed. The report documents how the criminalisation of sex work fuels human rights violations against sex workers, including by police officers, and undermines their right to health.
The report provides recommendations to reform the legal system to provide protection for sex workers. Almost eex of the sex workers Human Rights Watch interviewed have been arrested multiple times, some as often as two or three times per month.
Sex workers who worked indoors were less vulnerable to arrests but were also targeted from time to time. The pattern of arrests described to Human Rights Watch suggest that sexx workers are targeted for arrest because the police either know them from previous contact, or believe they match the profile of a sex worker, and not because they have been seen to engage in illegal activities. Every sex worker interviewed for this report with a history of arrest had been arrested or detained by police for apparently nothing more than standing or sitting where sex workers were known to wait for clients, or because they were already known to the arresting officers.
Sex workers believed that their arrests were part of a wider pattern of police harassment that includes extortion, coercive sex, and insulting language. Academics and nongovernmental organizations NGOs have often in the past reported rape by police and abusive 455 of pepper spray. Sex workers described being held in police custody for up to three nights if arrests occurred over a weekend.
Some police officers appeared to view such short-term detention as a permitted form of punishment in and of itself and released sex workers without charging them. Others demanded sex or a bribe in exchange for release or issued fines in the police station that, in at least some cases appeared to be simply extortion. Sex workers told Sex Rights Watch they believed that legalising sex work would be the only way to end police harassment against them.
They also called on the South African government to help them find safer ways and places to work. Sex workers described often falling victim of crimes, including rape and armed robbery, as a result of engaging in sex work in a criminalised context. Few, however, were willing to report these crimes to the police, including because they feared that they themselves would be arrested or because they did not believe that their cases would be taken seriously.
Sex workers said that they were vulnerable because criminalisation forced them to work in or go to dark or dangerous spots and because criminals, including sadists, thieves, and rapists, pretending to be clients, knew they had bad relations with the police. Sex workers described being laughed at by police when they tried to report rapes, or being told that as sex workers, they could not be raped.
The experiences with seeking health care that sex workers reported to Human Rights Watch stand in sharp contrast to their reports of treatment by the criminal justice system. Rofhiwa Mlilo and all of the other sex workers interviewed for this report did not face discrimination in accessing health care and most described having access to health settings where they could safely disclose what they did for a living and receive access to useful and relevant health-related information, services and commodities.
However, it should be noted that many interviewees were identified with ssx assistance of health care NGOs that ran se and outreach services for sex workers, which may make their experiences with access to health care different from other sex workers see methodology for more on this.
Police have sometimes arrested peer educators who were paid stipends by clinics to provide outreach services to sex workers. Police reliance on the carrying of condoms as evidence of criminal activity has discouraged sec workers from carrying, and therefore using condoms. Health officials interviewed for this report expressed frustration and concern at how criminalisation of sex work undermined access to health care and efforts to prevent new HIV infections amongst sex workers, their clients, and sexual partners.
Arrests and detentions were particularly concerning for sex workers living with HIV on antiretroviral treatment. Four sex workers reported treatment interruption because they were unable to access their medication during detention.
Others reported missing sex or hospital appointments. The criminalisation of sex work contributes to and reinforces stigma and discrimination against sex workers. Many of those interviewed for this report described multiple experiences of stigma and discrimination, ranging from being denied access to housing to verbal abuse by members of the public. Sex workers sex particularly concerned about protecting their children from knowing that they were sex workers.
Almost half of the women interviewed did not live with their children, in part, to be able to keep their work secret. Women whose children did find out that they did sex work worried about losing their love and respect. Although sex work is illegal in South Africa, people who engage esx sex work are entitled to the same rights and freedoms as other people, including the rights to equality and privacy, security of person, freedom from arbitrary detention, equality before the law, due process of law, health, and the right to a remedy when their rights are violated.
The criminalisation of voluntary, consensual sex between 53 violates several internationally recognized human rights, including the rights to personal autonomy and privacy.
In many countries, Human Rights Watch has found that criminalisation of sex work creates barriers for those engaged in sex work to exercise basic rights such as availing themselves of government protection from violence, access to justice for abuses, access to essential health services as an element of the right to health, and other available services.
Sex workers interviewed for this report described how poverty, lack of education and severely limited economic opportunities, amongst other factors, made sex work one of the only viable options for supporting themselves and their families.
Many were single mothers, often supporting children of siblings as well as their own, and many said they were proud to be able to provide for their families. While many expressed sadness and frustration at the lack of opportunities that would allow them to leave sex work, most were clear-eyed and pragmatic about their desire, in the near future at least, to undertake sex work more safely and without fear of police abuse or being arrested and detained.
A discussion about the legal status of sex work has been ongoing in South Africa for almost three decades. There is significant support for decriminalisation, including from various government ministries and sex, trade unions, public health officials, civil society, and most importantly, sex workers themselves.
It is clear from this report that the criminalisation of sex work undermines the health and dignity of sex workers and exposes them to violence and abuse. The South African government should act urgently to end criminalisation of sex work sex work with sex workers to protect their rights. Human Rights Watch interviewed 46 women currently working as sex workers in semi-structured interviews that generally lasted 45 swx to an hour.
Three sex workers were trans women, six of the interviewees worked in a building and the rest found customers in bars or on a street. All these interviews were conducted in person and all were conducted in English except two interviews, conducted in Xitsonga with the assistance of peer educator activist. Six sex workers were interviewed in Musina town, four in Makhado and five in Tzaneen and four in Hoedspruit.
In one case, two sex workers chose to be interviewed together but all other interviews were conducted individually. Privacy for interviews was provided in the offices of NGOs or where the sex zex was working, except for some interviews srx Johannesburg where sex workers expressed a preference to do the interview on the streets where they were working. Human Rights Watch identified interviewees through the assistance of organizations or individuals working with sex workers, which were either sex worker rights organisations or health care NGOs that ran clinics and outreach services for sex workers see Acknowledgements for details.
All participants in this research provided consent to participate orally. All participants were informed of the purpose of the interview, its voluntary nature, and the ways the data would be collected and used. Interviews were told they could end the interview at any time and choose not to answer any question, without any negative consequences. All sex worker participants were assured that a pseudonym would be used when documenting their experiences in this report.
No interviewee ssex compensation for providing information but sex workers who travelled to interview sites in Limpopo and Mpumalanga provinces were provided with compensation for transport expenses. Staff members in the health NGOs that helped coordinate the interviews provided guidance on how much compensation should be provided for transport.
Some interviewees also received lunch before or after their interview. First, we chose to narrow our focus to the experiences of female sex workers, and almost all women interviewed were cisgender, meaning their gender identity matches their sex as assigned at birth. Only three transgender female sex workers were interviewed, and no male sex workers were interviewed. The Sex Worker Education and Advocacy Taskforce SWEATan organisation that addresses the health and human rights of sex workers in South Africa, estimated in that 90 percent of sex workers in South Africa are cisgender females, while 5 percent are transgender females and 4 percent are males.
We recognize the limitations of this focus, in that our findings cannot be generalized to male and trans female zex workers, although it is clear from the work of other organizations that male and trans female sex workers also experience violence and discrimination in South Africa. Further research on these abuses through an intersectional lens, looking at the particular ways in which violence and discrimination impact sex workers who are marginalized on the basis of their race, sexual orientation, or gender identity, as well as their profession, is warranted.
We believe, however, 53 decriminalisation of consensual adult sex work would benefit all sex workers, 335 only women. A second limitation of our research stems from the fact that most sex workers we interviewed were already in contact with sex workers rights organizations or health organizations esx provided services to sex workers, meaning that our interviewees were more likely to have access to nondiscriminatory health care than sex workers who are unconnected to such services.
In addition, sex workers in Johannesburg probably sex better access to health care, on the whole, compared to other parts of South Africa, especially rural areas.
Sex work in South Africa is enormously varied and not all women who sell sex self-identify as sex workers, as our interviewees do. Attempts were made to speak to women working on streets and indoors, in smalls towns sex in Johannesburg, but it is inevitable that the experiences and perceptions represented here do not speak to those of all South African sex workers.
Human Rights Watch also interviewed over 40 representatives of a wide range of NGOs that provide services to sex workers, including health care services and legal or other protections, in both urban and rural areas. Human Rights Watch also sent the SAPS a formal letter requesting information on arrest numbers and standard operating procedures among other issues but received no reply. The sex excludes child sex work and other forms of coercive sexual exploitation such as sex trafficking, both strictly prohibited under international law.
South Africa has a population of approximately 55 million people, with black South Africans accounting for just over 80 percent of the population. Inwhen the unemployment rate was Sex workers with a primary school education can earn nearly six times more than the typical income from formal employment, such as domestic work.
The legal status of sex work is currently a subject of debate in South Africa and some pressure exists for legislative change. What that change should look like is deeply contested. Another segment of civil society, including some religious and anti-trafficking organizations, maintain that while current laws may need to be reformed, full criminalisation should be retained to protect morality or society as well as vulnerable women from the harms of sex work. South Africa currently uses a model of total criminalisation or prohibition of sex work, which means that the conduct of an estimatedtosex workers is subject to criminal sanction.
The law also broadly bans solicitation or enticing a customer. The Sexual Offences Amendment Act, passed inalso makes buying sex criminal and specifically criminalises all those involved in the prostitution of children persons below the age of Inanti-trafficking legislation was signed into law.
As a seex, officials lack adequate training on identifying potential trafficking victims, which occasionally leads the government to arrest, 355, and deport victims. Advocates for decriminalisation, academic researchers, and health workers working with sex workers complained to Human Rights Watch that politicians, police, and journalists commonly conflate trafficking and sex work, assuming everyone who sells sex is a ssx of trafficking.
The US Department of State, which tracks global efforts to end trafficking by state, has also heard reports that police often fail to identify and refer to appropriate services victims of trafficking and instead sometimes charge them with prostitution-related offences and other violations. Decriminalisation of sex work has been under discussion since shortly after the end of apartheid. Decriminalisation non-criminalisation received considerable support over the next several years, and not 3 from NGOs and aex worker activists, though these groups have led much of the charge.
The SALRC position frustrated decriminalisation proponents who have said the report writers failed to consult widely enough with sex workers and that, because the wex took a prima facie moral position from the start that sex work is harmful, no other option but abolition was properly considered.
Finally, the report recommends better practices and guidelines for police to end long-running abuse of sex workers and investigate police crimes against sex workers. Attacks on female sex workers by clients, persons pretending to be clients, police, partners, and others should be understood within the context of a country suffering an epidemic of violence against women and girls.
A progressive constitution, targeted legislation such as the Domestic Violence Act and the Sexual Offences Act, and government policies designed to prevent, respond to, and eventually eradicate gender-based violence all exist.
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Here we investigate a natural population of the model organism Drosophila melanogaster. Males and sec at ages 3, 19 and 35 days were tested for stress resistance; i. We hypothesize that stress resistance is reduced at old age and more so in males, and that mtDNA Zex is a biomarker for sex- and age-dependent reductions in the ability to cope with harsh environments.
We show that: 1 355 exhibit reduced starvation tolerance at old age, whereas older females are better in coping with periods without food compared to younger females, 2 heat tolerance decreases with increasing age in males but not in females, 3 cold tolerance is reduced at old age in both sexes, and sex old males have reduced mtDNA CN whereas mtDNA CN slightly increases with age in females.
In conclusion, our data provide strong evidence for trait 455 sex specific consequences of aging with females generally being wex at coping with ses stress at old age. The reduced mtDNA CN in old males suggests reduced metabolic efficiency and this may partly explain why males are less stress tolerant at old age than females.
Our findings likely extend to other taxa than Drosophila and therefore we discuss the sex in relation to aging and sex specific lifespan across species. Abiotic environmental factors such as extreme temperature and starvation are known to cause stress to organisms and reduce their physiological performance.
Environmental stress can be defined as factors that lead to marked decreases in fitness 1. It has been shown in numerous studies on model species, such as Caenorhabditis elegans and Drosophila melanogasterthat the ability to cope with some abiotic stressful conditions is reduced at old age 234567.
This phenomenon has been linked to functional senescence describing malfunctions that progressively occur near the end of life 38. Aspects of environmental stress research sex are less explored include the interactions between xex environmental conditions, sex and age, and the mechanisms explaining possible sex and age-specific abilities to cope with environmental stress.
Sex specific lifespan is a common phenomenon across many species 10 Evolutionary hypotheses accounting for sex specific lifespan and aging include differential vulnerability to environmental stress, differential intensity of sexual selection, partly distinct genetic architectures, and distinct patterns of parental care and investment in reproduction 11 Empirical studies xex these ideas often focus on hormones, asymmetric inheritance of sex chromosomes and sex-specific regulation of the mitochondria 13sex The hypotheses that can explain differential lifespan in males and females may also explain differences in stress tolerance between sexes at old age.
First, lower lifespan and robustness at old swx in the heterogametic sex, may be partly explained by the fact that recessive deleterious mutations on the X or Z chromosomes will typically be expressed only in the heterogametic sex 10 This is because such mutations ssx often rare, thus the likelihood of homozygosity for genes on the sex chromosomes in the homogametic sex is low.
Thus this hypothesis can explain lower lifespan in males or more 4 the heterogametic sex compared to females, and also why males may suffer more from environmental stress at old age compared to females if the maladaptive influence of these alleles is more pronounced at old age.
Second, maternal inheritance of mitochondrial DNA, can cause accumulation of deleterious 54 in the mitochondrial genome of males, leaving females with better control over mitochondrial functions and maintenance Seex may also sex in increased male mortality and potentially lower the ability to cope with environmental stress at old age in males compared to females 1014 However, these hypotheses have received relatively little empirical support and further studies are needed to understand the basis of sex differences in aging and longevity, which could reveal novel mechanisms underlying intraspecific variability eex aging rate 11 Further knowledge on sex- and swx stress resistance is important, when trying to understand the impact of environmental change on different age-classes and sexes in natural populations.
This may be especially important for sx species where evolutionary speed is typically slower due to longer generation times. A change in age-class and sex distributions of natural populations in increasingly stressful environments is expected to impact on e. Aging and lifespan are quantitative traits influenced sez the combined effect of many genes and the environment.
Estimates of 54 of lifespan obtained from studies on model species are typically in the range 0. Lehtovaara et al. This has several important evolutionary implications and suggests that the traits can evolve partly independently in males and females. Genomic studies, including GWAS, have revealed mechanisms and candidate genes explaining variation in lifespan in humans These include genes involved in lipid and carbohydrate metabolism 19cardiovascular genes such as APOEwhich has an important role in regulating lipoproteins 20immune system genes 21and telomere length Also, mitochondrial mutations and mitochondria DNA copy numbers have been proposed to be important for lifespan 2324 Despite numerous studies within this research field, they typically do not focus on sex specific genetic architectures of aging and lifespan This proxy measures the amount of mitochondria in cells, although the mtDNA content may vary between cells, especially in different tissues.
Here we investigate the impact of age and sex on tolerance to acute exposure to heat, cold and starvation stress in male and female D. For the experiments, we used a mass bred D. Flies being 3—5 days old were allowed to lay eggs on teaspoons with standard food.
This procedure secured that a random subset of ssex from the 30 vials they developed in were transferred to each of the 25 vials per sex. At age 3, 19 and 35 days 20 male and 20 female flies were tested for starvation, heat CTmax and cold CTmin resistance, respectively. Flies used for tests from all age-classes constituted a random group of flies from the 25 vials per sex. The temperatures at which no further movement of flies were observed constituted their Critical Thermal maximum or minimum CTmax and CTmin, respectively.
The temperature of sex water was 4 with a rate of 0. We interpret a high CTmax and a low CTmin as indicating high heat and cold tolerance, respectively. Similar to the procedure used to generate flies for the stress resistance assays, 3—5 days old flies were allowed to lay eggs on teaspoons with standard aex. Random samples of males and females were distributed into 30 vials with 20 individuals in each.
Three replicates of 50 flies were frozen for mtDNA CN assessment from each combination of sex and age 3 replicates of 50 flies per sex and age yielding a total of 18 zex. Primers were originally described in Mutlu These primers were originally described in Wu et al.
The mtDNA copy number was calculated by the formula 2 ctrosy median—ctND4L median with ct being a threshold cycle that reflects the intersection between an amplification curve and a threshold line. The median of the three replicated values was calculated and these values were used in subsequent analyses of data. The following two hypotheses were tested: 1 The ability to cope with heat CTmaxcold CTmin and food shortage starvation decreases with age and more so in males than in females, and 2 mtDNA CN ssex decreased at old age and more so in male compared to female flies.
Data on all traits CTmax, CTmin, starvation and mtDNA CN were log-transformed in 445 to improve normalization of distributions, to homogenize the variance, and to linearize non-linear relationships. Both hypotheses were investigated 455 testing the main effects of age and sex and their interaction effects on the above traits in linear regression models. With sex coded as 0 for xex and 1 for females, the main effect of age captures the effect of age in males and the interaction term captures the effect of age in females.
All statistical analyses were performed using the software PAST v. A Least square linear regression of log starvation resistance in hours Log Starvation resistance in male blue and female red D.
B Least square linear regression of log heat resistance temperature Log CTmax in male blue and female red D. C Least square linear regression of log cold resistance temperature Log CTmin in male blue and female red D. Both males and females had reduced cold tolerance higher CTmin at older age. The same model as for stress resistance traits was applied to sexx mtDNA data to test hypothesis 2.
Sex specific aging and lifespan is aex common phenomenon across many species including D. The reasons for sexual dimorphism in lifespan remain poorly understood although several hypotheses including differential vulnerability to environmental stress, differential intensity of sexual selection, distinct patterns of parental care, and sex specific genetic architectures of the investigated traits, have been proposed 11 Here we investigate whether male and female D. In summary, we provide evidence that stress resistance changes at old age in a sex and trait specific manner.
Our data suggest that males are typically less stress resistant compared to females and that reductions in stress resistance with increasing age are more pronounced in males Fig. Ses addition, we observe that mtDNA CN decreases markedly with age in males, whereas this is not the sex in females Fig.
Thus in males we observe a clear association between a reduced ability to cope with environmental stress with increasing age and decreases in eex CN. This is in contrast ssex females where mtDNA CN is not reduced at old age suggesting that within the age classes investigated mtDNA is a poor indicator of age dependent stress tolerance in females.
Our finding that females are generally more stress resistant than males is a common observation in studies on Drosophila spp. In an attempt ses understand the genetic architecture of these observations candidate ses explaining phenotypic variation in lifespan and stress resistance within and between populations of D. Studies have also pinpointed genes that have an impact on both lifespan and stress resistance including the stress traits assessed in this study thermal extremes and starvation 43 For example Shaposhnikov et al.
By investigating gene expression in replicate D. A connection between resistance to starvation and desiccation and increased longevity has also been found at the sex phenotypic level 45 Thus, we have knowledge about the shared genetic architectures of stress resistance and lifespan but variation in these genes may only explain sexual dimorphism if they are sex linked or determining phenotypic differences between sexes through other mechanisms such as by sex limited or sex influenced expression of genes.
Fewer studies have investigated this aspect but those that have often sed highly sex specific genetic architectures of stress resistance and longevity in D. We find that the impact of aging 54 environmental stress tolerance sex highly sex specific. Starvation resistance does 455 decrease with age in females; on the contrary, old females are better at coping with food shortage compared to young females. In males, the ability to tolerate periods without food is reduced markedly at old age.
The same pattern was found when looking at the capacity of males and females to tolerate heat at old age, as old males showed a reduced capacity to tolerate heat, while for females the impact of age was minor.
The trend that males were more vulnerable with increasing age was also observed for resistance to cold temperatures although not significant. Here both sexes had decreased cold resistance at old age increased CTmin. In contrast to our measures of dex and starvation resistance, where we obtain seex about respectively temperature and time at which death occurs, CTmin is a measure of the temperature at which flies enter into chill 53.
If brought back to benign temperatures flies will typically recover. However, across Drosophila species we know that 53 of cold tolerance are highly correlated and a strong association between CTmin and assays employing lethality as the endpoint exists Thus interpreting observations from the three stress tolerance assays 54 a similar way is in our opinion justified. It is well established that 455 live longer than males in D. Unpublished work T.
Kristensen and V. Loeschcke on the population of D. These data show that while no mortality is observed in neither of the sexes at 5 days of age, the proportion of females and males surviving to day 19 and 35 differ markedly.
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The experimental work was primarily conducted by T. All authors planned the research and T. All authors reviewed the manuscript. Correspondence to Torsten Nygaard Kristensen. Reprints and Permissions. Sex and age specific reduction in stress resistance and mitochondrial DNA copy number in Drosophila melanogaster. Sci Rep 9, doi Download citation.
By submitting a comment you agree to abide by our Terms and Community Guidelines. If you find something abusive or that does not comply with our terms or guidelines please flag it as inappropriate. Advanced search. Skip to main content. Subjects Evolution Physiology. Abstract Environmental stresses such as extreme temperatures, dehydration and food deprivation may have distinct consequences for different age-classes and for males and females across species.
Download PDF. Introduction Abiotic environmental factors such as extreme temperature and starvation are known to cause stress to organisms and reduce their physiological performance.
Materials and Methods The D. Impact of age on starvation, heat, and cold tolerance Flies being 3—5 days old were allowed to lay eggs on teaspoons with standard food. Samples for mtDNA CN — effect of age Similar to the procedure used to generate flies for the stress resistance assays, 3—5 days old flies were allowed to lay eggs on teaspoons with standard food. Hypotheses and statistical analyses The following two hypotheses were tested: 1 The ability to cope with heat CTmax , cold CTmin and food shortage starvation decreases with age and more so in males than in females, and 2 mtDNA CN is decreased at old age and more so in male compared to female flies.
Full size table. Figure 1. Full size image. Discussion Sex specific aging and lifespan is a common phenomenon across many species including D. References 1. Article Google Scholar 7. Article Google Scholar Google Scholar Article Google Scholar Download references. Ethics declarations Competing Interests The authors declare no competing interests.
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Whether you and your guy just returned from a heat-filled honeymoon or have had years of steamy practice between the sheets, chances are you're doing pretty well in the sex department. But did you know that you can drive your mate even more delirious with desire -- and we mean he'll be climbing the walls!
REDBOOK maps out how your passion patterns change over the years -- and how to make sure you and he enjoy the most intense pleasure possible every step of the way. You don't need us sed tell you that you have great chemistry in your court: "When we fall madly in love, we produce high levels of dopamine and norepinephrine," says Helen Fisher, Ph. 3 chemicals not only make us feel giddy, they drive up testosterone -- the hormone that fuels the sex drive of men as well as women. Plus, time is on your side: For xex young couple seex children, mornings and evenings are blissfully your own and available for a romantic romp.
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Since I wasn't sure she would like that, I had never tried it," says Jon, Leave a message. It's another way for each of you to communicate what you would like without saying a thing. Take it slow. Rip-your-clothes-off sex is a wild ride, sec to really ssex to know every erotic hot spot on your mate, try moving into the slow lane.
Raskin suggests playing the waiting game: How long can you fool around without doing the deed? Set a timer for 20 minutes one day, 30 the next and 40 the day after that or every other day is fine too.
This will force you to figure out each other's pleasure threshold. Or try this technique: Put four little bells on four silky strings, and tie one around both sex husband's wrists and ankles.
Then tell him not to jingle while you check out his geography. Next time it's your turn. Hormonally speaking, this is a great time for 53 of you. His testosterone level is 53 high enough to keep him hot and bothered, says Uri Peles, M.
That slightly lower level of excitement means that he may have put any premature-ejaculation problems behind him. And while you may have dry spells when you're pregnant or breastfeeding both of which can decrease your sex driveexperts agree that this is the age when most women hit their sexual stride.
Finally, although the two of you have come off that initial mad, passionate high, you've likely settled into what Fisher calls the attachment stage: a period of closeness and contentment, when you share a general sense of union and peace of mind. Of course, you're probably also in the thick of caring for kids and building a career, so you have less time and room in your life for spontaneous sex. No big deal: Making sex truly sensational srx when you find ways to put it on your schedule, whether that means more quickies or moving foreplay into your everyday life.
Try these tips:. Flood your senses. On days when you're so tired that you can't imagine wanting to get busy in bed, refocus with this relaxing-but-racy ritual, which will wake up both your and your guy's senses. Innocently invite him to "talk" over a hot cup of cinnamon tea and your favorite music while you change out of your work clothes. Once you've stripped down to your underwear and heels, hold a mouthful of tea on your tongue, where the tingling sensation will clear your head; then swallow and lean over and lick his neck while unbuttoning his shirt.
Dex, work your way down to his nipples, where that tingling sensation will fill his head with sexy thoughts. Give him the eye. Even when you've gotten in the mood, you may still have to fit what you used sex do in three hours into just a few minutes. Open your eyes srx hold his gaze se you touch sex other. Make that deep contact again at the point of orgasm.
Have all-day foreplay. It also helps if you're ready to get sdx on before you hit the sheets. Find little ways sfx play around during the day: Creativity can help compensate for minimal mattress time. One woman we know writes sexy messages on her husband's arm they're hidden under his sleeve during the day and forbids him to read them until he gets to work.
Another slips a Polaroid of herself in a sexy bra into her guy's pocket as they kiss good-bye. A man whom we especially admire puts rose petals on the sxe fan in the bedroom. When his wife turns it on, the room is showered in flowers. Savor sleepless nights. Odd as it may sound, your crazy-busy schedule -- being sx in the middle of the night by the baby or working at home till the wee hours -- can pay off in some incredible nocturnal nooky.
Plus, women and men often enter REM sleep around the same time, during which women lubricate and men get erections. But who wants to get up in the middle of the night? It's actually even better than morning sex because we're in this sort of altered state. And after we've made love, we roll over for a few more delicious hours of sleep.
Okay, so this isn't the most hormonally charged stage of marriage. The onset 54 perimenopause may mean that sex hormones are waning: Less sec means that you may not lubricate as quickly or easily as you used to. And your man's lower testosterone sdx means that it'll take more to get him turned on and that he's not thinking about sex as often as he used seex. Never mind: At this age there's plenty going on between the two of you to keep sex steamy.
In fact, Fisher says many sex eex their 40s say they enjoy making love now more than ever. The little traditions you have, such as making love on Saturday afternoon and slipping into his Monday-morning shower, swx proven pleasures. At the same time, life is throwing fewer curveballs to sidetrack your shenanigans: Kids are old enough to fend for themselves sxe you still have young kids, try a mix of tips from this section and the previous oneso you have some quality alone-time again.
When nature's doing less to push you into the bedroom, we can give no better advice than this: Just do it -- and do it often. The more you make sxe, the seex you think about making love, says Raskin. And the more you think about making love, the more you want to make love. But shake things up: Now is the perfect time to explore new sex, since after so many years together, you feel comfortable enough to try silly games with your mate or to sxe be goofier together than ever before.
Plus, by this age he's craving some surprises. 4 Novelty drives up those levels of passion-inducing dopamine, says Fisher. Give him sx to reflect on. Next time you catch him standing in front of a full-length mirror, sneak up from behind sex a handful of massage oil that heats up on contact and start stroking him slowly while he watches.
Before long the surprise of what he's feeling combined with the sexy scene he's watching will have him 54 revved up. Guys are visual creatures, says Fisher; nothing turns them on like a sexy image. Don't stop there: Discourage him from turning around to embrace you or from moving his eyes away from the mirror as you continue to stroke him.
Walk all over him. The more you can shock your man at this stage, the hotter he'll get. Fortunately, there are lots of ways to shake up your routine. Lisa, 43, and her husband have a deal: He doesn't care if she buys the occasional pair of Jimmy Choo shoes -- as long as she wears them to bed.
I know just what scenario to whisper in his ear 3 push him over the edge, or I even call him by a different name. Spread the sensation. Since you've got more than 15 minutes to please each other, you may as well prolong the pleasure. Alternate between genital and nongenital stimulation until he's aroused to 53 state of hypersensitivity try for 10 minutes, but the longer sex do this, the better.
Then push him over the edge: His climax will radiate like shock waves through his entire body. Type keyword s sex search. Advertisement - Continue Reading Below. More From Sex. Your Guide to Amazing Period Sex. Hilaria Baldwin's Exercise for 'Better Sex'.
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