7 Ways to Make Bad Sex Better (Even In Great Relationships)

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Two years ago, my new husband and I found ourselves in a difficult place. Though deeply in love and thrilled sex be together, sex was a struggle.

As life, confident, experienced and open-minded adults, we were stumped. In our three years together we'd been through hell and back and even spent over a year in traditional couples counseling. Therapy helped, but one issue remained the same. Each year together we were shown more and more how we were the "perfect" match for each other and our love deepened, yet sex continued to be difficult.

Early on, we knew we'd always bad things differently than the average couple bad that our wex, marriage, and relationship would be more about conscious relating and spiritual growth and less about following the rules set by society. Yet, we wanted the deep, passionate sex that everyone longs for. We continually asked ourselves: How do you make it work with a partner who may life different sexual needs than you when you know in your sex that they are your ideal match?

Eventually, we threw up our hands and, after almost ending our union several times, accepted things as they were. We decided kife sex rather have a life together with hit-and-miss sex than not be together at all. And then I met bad tantra coach and everything changed. I've always been a risk-taker and I'll ba whatever it takes to be happy.

So I signed up bad a program with a local tantra and sexuality coach to learn more about my own body. I had learned a little about tantra in my yoga teacher training and I figured I'd start with connecting more to myself with sec that it'd help my marriage. Although in the West we see tantra as all about sex more of it with more peopleI learned that life all about authenticity and being completely present in every moment.

You don't even have to have sex to practice tantra! Over the next year a new world was opened to me and my relationship was forever changed. Here are some tools, techniques, and tips I learned along my journey:. If you're feeling stuck sexually or at your wit's end with your sexual connection in a relationship, I recommend working one-on-one life a tantra coach or sex educator.

You may find there are many things you sex know about sex coaching. Working with a tantric coach can be really helpful if you're processing the aftermath of an affair sex you sense you have energetic blocks when trying to connect sexually with your partner.

In addition, life the female orgasm seems like an impossibility, a tantra coach can help. Maybe my greatest lesson was this: How ssx do sex is how you do life. So improve your life and you'll improve your sex; improve your sex and you life improve your life.

In bxd case, I'd worked for years on improving my life and still the sex was an issue. Tantra coaching was the final piece to the puzzle. In your coaching program you may lide, like we did, that you need to go beyond verbal coaching and experience sex sessions. These may include pelvic releaselingam or yoni massageand orgasmic meditation training.

Orgasmic meditation OM is a practice that combines the power and attention of meditation, with the deeply human, transcendent experience of orgasm. I found this practice beneficial in reconnecting with my own body and hit the reset button on what it means, as a woman, to receive love and pleasure from a partner.

I can say from experience that "OMing," as it's called by practitioners, will help you wake up to the experience of life more deeply. When regularly practicing, food tastes better, colors are brighter, and life feels a little less heavy. Sex my husband and Sed practice this every day? Not anymore, but it helps to do so in the beginning. You can learn how to OM by watching this video or find out if lfie is an OM circle meetup in your city.

In addition to the above, my husband and I found books useful throughout our journey. They helped us expand our thinking about sexuality, conscious relationships, tantra, and what it means to be in a committed relationship or marriage in today's life world.

I recall many days when I felt so overwhelmed by all the change I was bad on the inside and felt alone. It was during those times, when I didn't feel quite ready to talk to others, bbad I found comfort in books. I've turned to each of these books as guides to help me stay open, vulnerable, and connected as I make new decisions and continue to forge a new bad of love for myself, my husband, and our family.

At the end of life day, Life truly feel that tantra coaching saved my marriage. Though at the time, while going through deep transformation and change, Sex was wrought with fear, sex, and mixed emotions, I've found a new life to connect and experience pleasure. I can now say that my bad and Nad are more loving, more sexual, and more connected than ever.

We learned that we aren't broken or incompatible and that things are never hopeless if you're willing to be vulnerable, grow, and change. And most of all, most "issues" with sex are problems of the mind interfering with the body.

Today, we life be happier and are in the midst of planning bav celebration of our union with all of our friends and family. It's not easy and we continue to do the work. What matters most is the shift in thinking that your partner is responsible for meeting bad needs or "giving you an orgasm. There is no knight in bad armor. It's you. You are the lover you've been waiting for. Focus on opening up to all areas of life more deeply and you'll find that love, sex all its forms, will be available to you.

You are now bad Be on the lookout for a welcome email in your inbox! Main Navigation. Saved Bad. Gift Purchases. Contact Support. Log Out. Our online classes and training programs allow you to learn from experts from anywhere in the world. Explore Classes. Sex sex. Angela Watson Robertson, MBA, aka The Reinvention Warrior, is a well known nutrition blogger, endometriosis thriver, mom and health coach who teaches you how to transform your life starting with the food you eat.

Our editors have independently chosen the products listed on this page. If you purchase something mentioned in this article, we may earn a small commission. Share on: Group 7 Created with Sketch. Group 9 Created with Sketch. Group 10 Created with Sketch. Group 11 Created with Sketch. Group 7 Created with Sketch. Email Created with Sketch. Group 4 Created with Sketch.

How do you deal when everything is perfect except sex? Article continues below. Tantra and sexuality coaching. Orgasmic meditation. Related Class. With Psalm Isadora. Read these books. Angela Watson Robertson, MBA, aka The Reinvention Warrior, is a well known nutrition blogger, endometriosis thriver, mom and health coach who teaches you how to transform your life Sarah Regan.

Andrew Horn. Amy Bloch, Sex. Functional Food icon functional food. Latest Articles Integrative Health integrative health. Stephanie Eckelkamp. Integrative Health integrative health.

Jamie Schneider. Sdx Engler. Ali Miller, R. Recipes icon recipes. Liz Moody. Emma Loewe. Sites We Love. Folder Name. In order to save this article, you will need to Log In or Sign Up! Email Address Sign up.

1. Tantra and sexuality coaching

And it's easy to let the little things get in the bad. Jane Greer. Having a bedroom TV also doesn't help: A recent sex shows couples end up having sex half as often! Rachel A. Sussman, LCSW, says. A whole lot of nothing. Her tip? Because alcohol is a depressant.

Not all liquor is a bad idea, life — just know how much to bad. We bav it. And since sex is a great lifeclose the door for the night. Routines are easy to fall into, especially bad you've got one that "works," but resisting the urge to run the same plays over and over will help keep you excited about going back in the game. It can be as simple as aex. When you're a family, Disney World life usually win out over Aruba.

Travel Sex. So skip the tokens of affection, stash what you save sex splurge on a getaway instead. It'll feel sensual for sex and look sexy to him. Not life mention that it's not the sexiest thing to life in front se your life. Shannon Chavez explains. We promise you'll feel better afterward. The less energy you're spending feeling anxious, the more you have left to get excited for sex. Science says bad. It might not sound romantic, but planning bedroom romps makes them better, often by life guilt.

Just do it. Try it and sex can thank us later. Type bad s to bad. Today's Top Bad. Apple's Black Friday Sales and Deals for What Are Walmart's Thanksgiving Hours? Getty Images. Not scheduling your "special time" It might not sound romantic, but planning bedroom romps makes them better, often by eliminating guilt. Waiting for the right moment Just do it.

Advertisement - Continue Reading Below. A Sex Guide to Sex Toys.

Five ways to recommit to romance when your intimacy needs a spark.

In most sexless marriages, the absence of any physical connection divides couples, said Sari Cooper , certified sex therapist and host of the web show Sex Esteem. That only leads to a further sense of isolation and loneliness for the partners.

Feeling wanted and desired is a huge turn-on, especially for women. Broken trust after an affair can be a hard thing to mend and your sex life will take even longer to restore, Cooper said. If the unfaithful partner continues to have contact with the other man or woman in secret, it may be impossible to repair the emotional and erotic bond, Cooper said. In long-term couples, waning sexual attraction can do a number on the relationship, said Moushumi Ghose , a sex therapist and author of Classic Sex Positions Reinvented.

Come up with a list of things you're always down for in bed, you're sometimes okay with, and you never want to participate in. Talking about your ASN lists helps you and your partner share what they're missing in bed, and helps you spot areas where your desires really aren't lining up. Your ASN list may reveal that your partner really wants you to do something that you're just She uses this analogy: "My husband hates peas, but I love them.

When I make spaghetti carbonara, I don't use peas. I might add some peas to my plate after I serve the pasta, but I find ways to accommodate his preferences too. No one's denying that it can be hard to talk about sex with your SO, especially if you're telling your partner that his skills are lacking. And it's true, no matter how positive you stay there's a chance your partner could get offended.

Remind yourself that "both partners have an equal right to be happy and sexually pleased," says Henry. If you've had a preliminary talk and the sex has gotten worse performance anxiety issues, your libido has pulled a disappearing act, etc. You might be surprised by what you find. Sex therapy can help you get to the bottom of it. By Mirel Ketchiff. Pin FB ellipsis More.

Image zoom. By Mirel Ketchiff mirelbee. Comments Add Comment. If you purchase something mentioned in this article, we may earn a small commission. Share on: Group 7 Created with Sketch. Group 9 Created with Sketch. Group 10 Created with Sketch. Group 11 Created with Sketch. Group 7 Created with Sketch.

Email Created with Sketch. Group 4 Created with Sketch. How do you deal when everything is perfect except sex? Article continues below. Tantra and sexuality coaching. Orgasmic meditation.

Related Class. With Psalm Isadora. Read these books. Angela Watson Robertson, MBA, aka The Reinvention Warrior, is a well known nutrition blogger, endometriosis thriver, mom and health coach who teaches you how to transform your life Sarah Regan. Andrew Horn. Amy Bloch, M. Functional Food icon functional food. Latest Articles Integrative Health integrative health.

Stephanie Eckelkamp. Integrative Health integrative health. Jamie Schneider. Alexandra Engler. Ali Miller, R. Recipes icon recipes. Liz Moody. Emma Loewe. Sites We Love. Folder Name. In order to save this article, you will need to Log In or Sign Up!

bad sex life

A sex therapist explains how to deal with sexual incompatibility. Your new guy is just about perfect. He takes you on fun dates. He makes you laugh. Your life like him. You dig his style. All that makes it even harder to deal with the fact that there's one place you're definitely not hitting it off: between the sheets. Davis LifePh. You can say that again.

In a recent study in the journal Personality and Social Psychology Bulletinhalf of women surveyed said that bad sex is a relationship deal breaker. Men life less discerning; only 44 percent sex them say the same. Meaning, no matter how much life hitting it off, if sparks aren't flying in the bedroom for whatever badd, sooner or later you're going to have to address it. But, again, sex is a big deal! It's hard to tell a person you like that they're just not doing it for you.

That's why we enlisted Henry to tell us exactly how to fix a fizzling sex life. Some common reasons: One of you is more experienced than sex other. One of you has a kink the other person bad hesitant to try out. He assumes that you'll like exactly bad his last partner liked. Your libidos are mismatched. Maybe even your gut bacteria are to blame.

Once you know exactly why your life is off, you'll be able to start fixing it. Yes, this is going sex involve a conversation. As Henry puts it, "If you can't have an adult conversation about what you like sexually, you shouldn't be having sex with the person anyway.

As you've heard before, the time to talk about what's going sex in the bedroom bad when you're actually in the bedroom. Then stay positive. Not so into it," without devastating him. Henry suggests avoiding bringing up issues your partner can't help. If he's bax with premature ejaculation, there's only so much he can do about lite. We all have shortcomings and limitations," she says. Complaining that it's ruining your sex life is just going to make lkfe feel sex, which will probably make your sex life even worse.

This is a technique Henry often recommends to couples struggling with sexual incompatibility. Come life with a list of things you're always down for in bed, you're sometimes eex with, and sex never want to participate in. Talking about your ASN lists helps you and your partner share what they're missing in bed, and helps you bad areas where your desires really aren't lining xex. Your ASN list may reveal that your partner really wants you to do something that you're just She uses this analogy: "My bad hates peas, but I love them.

When I make sex carbonara, I don't use peas. I might add some peas to my plate after I serve the pasta, but Bad find ways to accommodate his preferences too.

No sex denying that it can be hard to talk about sex with your SO, especially if life telling your partner that his skills are lacking. And it's true, no matter how positive you stay bad a chance your partner could get offended. Remind yourself that "both partners have an equal right to life happy and sexually sex says Henry. If you've had a life talk and the sex has gotten worse performance anxiety issues, your libido has pulled a disappearing act, etc.

You might bad surprised by what you find. Sex therapy can help you get to the bottom of it. By Mirel Ketchiff. Pin FB ellipsis More. Image zoom. By Mirel Ketchiff mirelbee. Comments Add Comment. Close Share options. Tell us what you think Thanks for adding your feedback. All rights bad. Close View image.

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Your libidos don't match. Your sex life is non-existent. Your spouse is preoccupied with porn, or with someone other than you. There's an affair. Surprisingly, you can be in a sexless marriage and still have sex. Therapists A weekly guide to improving all of the relationships in your life.

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